For all the Mom's out there today... Happy Mother's Day!!
For all the MEN out there today... this blog is for YOU!
Welcome to another exciting episode of the Quiet Mouse Strikes Back. I am your blog host, ready to get started?
Like usual, I am going to first investigate the Urban Dictionary as to what exactly a Bro-Zone is:
Bro-zone is the direct area around a male that is generally unacceptable to be in unless you are "getting it on". If someone unwanted is in your Bro-zone then it is in danger of being depleted, making it uncomfortable to exist until they leave.
This is the annotated definition, because the other definitions were NOT, as yet, pertinent to the blog topic at hand. Guycology states that the bro-zone is most present in situations like a male locker room or public restroom where among the male population it is considered taboo to do much besides business to get in and get out as quickly as possible with as little interaction with the other occupants as possible. For example if there are three standing urinals, it is inappropriate behavior for a man to take the middle toilet, as it would force a side by side confrontation of uncomfortable nature for the next man needing to piss as he will be forced to stand next to the other dude, which leads to conditions like "stadium dick".
It is also generally considered inappropriate behavior for men to talk or converse, namely in the public restroom situation as MOST men are so homophobic that they are constantly worried about a "fag" dude staring at their junk. This is both narcissistic and stupid as even the lamest of dudes can talk about one of a few choice topics (primarily because these topics, to follow, are pretty much take up the majority of all male thought processes):
1) Sports... there are so many from basketball, football, soccer to Nascar, rodeo, and all manner of sports and games in between. It may seem awkward to talk about aloud in a men's room, but rather than looking at the next guy's shank, you could ease the bond and awkwardness of the bro-zone by talking about the local team, super-bowl, prospective draft picks, etc.
2) Sex, women, pussy... all of these things are commonplace in a male locker room of teenage boys, but adults seem to be a little bit more uptight and homophobic... again thinking that everyone is staring at his meat Popsicle. This is both immature and self involved because non-gay heterosexual men DON'T check out each other's junk and as I have repeated at length in the past: IT IS NOT CONTAGIOUS!
3) Alcohol, namely beer. Unless you are an uptight conservative asshole, it is generally assumed by dudes that you at least drink a beer every once in a while, or maybe you prefer tequila or whiskey... the drink matters not, but rather the bonding experience that can be related by sharing such topics as I'm sure your fellow man can readily relate.
Women on the other hand have NO hang-ups about gossiping and talking to one another across the stall walls of the commode, even when dropping the stink pickle SHART in the toilet. This includes ALL topic conversations, as opposed to the limited forum of discussion topics acceptable for men, in or out of the bro-zone. These topics include, but not inclusive, of penises, fucking, kissing, dating, and other BITCHES, etc. etc.
For men this is both gross and un-proper conduct for a bathroom. In fact it is so deadly silent in the men's room that the smallest fart can be heard. This, if nothing else, might get the shy male to talk, as it is commonly known that ALL males, from boys to men, are obsessed with their farts and bowel movements, finding endless humor in the noise and stench, revelling in their own farts, collosal dumps, and whatnot.
Guycology also states that it is NOT acceptable for dudes to touch one another in the restroom or locker room, unless it is in the display of aggression and manhood by punching your buddy or some other juvenile form of abuse, such as giving a wedgie or a swirly.
Now the OTHER, not previously mentioned definition of the Bro-zone comes into including women. Similar to a woman putting a guy into the "friend zone", women are similarly able to find herself in the bro-zone under a special set of circumstances, often involving the girl being "too cool", a sports fan, or a possible lesbian posing as a turd in the punch bowl.
It is widely known that the world is covered with desperate, horny, hairy-palmed dudes that are willing to fuck ANYTHING, and when I say ANYTHING, I really DO mean ANYTHING.... aaaaahhhh........ nasty bastards!!
However, the other definition goes as follows, from the Urban dictionary:
An area a girl has entered when befriending a guy. Usually occurring with tomboys and their guy friends, when the male acknowledges the girl's actions by referring to her as "bro" or another "one of the guys". At this point the female in question has entered the "Bro-zone". The bro-zone eliminates ANY possible chance of the male friends having ANY sexual or relationship interest, and renders any chance of escaping the bro-zone hopeless.
As I said before, this definition is the rarest one, as it is proven that many men will fuck any woman, thus the reason for blogs of mine like "Who FUCKED THAT?!?" Please take the time to read my past blogs as they are chocked full of helpful info for both men and women.
Perhaps I am the lone wolf and I must enjoy being an asshole sometimes, because I am one of those rare breed of cat that actually enjoys starting up conversation in the men's room. I must admit I like to do this for a couple of different reasons, namely as follows:
1) I am perfectly sound in my sexuality as a hetero man and I don't even give a shit if a guy looks at my yang. I'm not homo, so it really doesn't affect me like that.
2) It is quite frankly funny how nervous other dudes get when someone is talking aloud in the bathroom. I find it hilarious when there is a dude taking a shit to walk out of the bathroom saying something like "Damn it smells like shit in here!" in a rather robust sort of voice. Once I even unrolled the toilet paper and wrote a message on it for the next user of the commode for #2 business. It read as follow: "dude, it smells like something crawled up your ass and died. You should really wipe better."
Oh but QM, that is so childish and crude.
Really? Come on! That was funny. Okay, maybe rude and a little too far, but I just feel the need to break through this icy cold tension of uncomfortability that is the male bro-zone. Fellas, lighten up! Seriously! NOT EVERY other dude out there is dead set on eyeballing your pud. Trust me, the gay dudes have their GAYDAR and YOU are NOT registered on their horizons, so don't flatter yourself.
Well that is about all I have to say about that. Have fun today and take good care of the mothers that take care of you.
Peace. Love. Respect.
For all the MEN out there today... this blog is for YOU!
Welcome to another exciting episode of the Quiet Mouse Strikes Back. I am your blog host, ready to get started?
Like usual, I am going to first investigate the Urban Dictionary as to what exactly a Bro-Zone is:
Bro-zone is the direct area around a male that is generally unacceptable to be in unless you are "getting it on". If someone unwanted is in your Bro-zone then it is in danger of being depleted, making it uncomfortable to exist until they leave.
This is the annotated definition, because the other definitions were NOT, as yet, pertinent to the blog topic at hand. Guycology states that the bro-zone is most present in situations like a male locker room or public restroom where among the male population it is considered taboo to do much besides business to get in and get out as quickly as possible with as little interaction with the other occupants as possible. For example if there are three standing urinals, it is inappropriate behavior for a man to take the middle toilet, as it would force a side by side confrontation of uncomfortable nature for the next man needing to piss as he will be forced to stand next to the other dude, which leads to conditions like "stadium dick".
It is also generally considered inappropriate behavior for men to talk or converse, namely in the public restroom situation as MOST men are so homophobic that they are constantly worried about a "fag" dude staring at their junk. This is both narcissistic and stupid as even the lamest of dudes can talk about one of a few choice topics (primarily because these topics, to follow, are pretty much take up the majority of all male thought processes):
1) Sports... there are so many from basketball, football, soccer to Nascar, rodeo, and all manner of sports and games in between. It may seem awkward to talk about aloud in a men's room, but rather than looking at the next guy's shank, you could ease the bond and awkwardness of the bro-zone by talking about the local team, super-bowl, prospective draft picks, etc.
2) Sex, women, pussy... all of these things are commonplace in a male locker room of teenage boys, but adults seem to be a little bit more uptight and homophobic... again thinking that everyone is staring at his meat Popsicle. This is both immature and self involved because non-gay heterosexual men DON'T check out each other's junk and as I have repeated at length in the past: IT IS NOT CONTAGIOUS!
3) Alcohol, namely beer. Unless you are an uptight conservative asshole, it is generally assumed by dudes that you at least drink a beer every once in a while, or maybe you prefer tequila or whiskey... the drink matters not, but rather the bonding experience that can be related by sharing such topics as I'm sure your fellow man can readily relate.
Women on the other hand have NO hang-ups about gossiping and talking to one another across the stall walls of the commode, even when dropping the stink pickle SHART in the toilet. This includes ALL topic conversations, as opposed to the limited forum of discussion topics acceptable for men, in or out of the bro-zone. These topics include, but not inclusive, of penises, fucking, kissing, dating, and other BITCHES, etc. etc.
For men this is both gross and un-proper conduct for a bathroom. In fact it is so deadly silent in the men's room that the smallest fart can be heard. This, if nothing else, might get the shy male to talk, as it is commonly known that ALL males, from boys to men, are obsessed with their farts and bowel movements, finding endless humor in the noise and stench, revelling in their own farts, collosal dumps, and whatnot.
Guycology also states that it is NOT acceptable for dudes to touch one another in the restroom or locker room, unless it is in the display of aggression and manhood by punching your buddy or some other juvenile form of abuse, such as giving a wedgie or a swirly.
Now the OTHER, not previously mentioned definition of the Bro-zone comes into including women. Similar to a woman putting a guy into the "friend zone", women are similarly able to find herself in the bro-zone under a special set of circumstances, often involving the girl being "too cool", a sports fan, or a possible lesbian posing as a turd in the punch bowl.
It is widely known that the world is covered with desperate, horny, hairy-palmed dudes that are willing to fuck ANYTHING, and when I say ANYTHING, I really DO mean ANYTHING.... aaaaahhhh........ nasty bastards!!
However, the other definition goes as follows, from the Urban dictionary:
An area a girl has entered when befriending a guy. Usually occurring with tomboys and their guy friends, when the male acknowledges the girl's actions by referring to her as "bro" or another "one of the guys". At this point the female in question has entered the "Bro-zone". The bro-zone eliminates ANY possible chance of the male friends having ANY sexual or relationship interest, and renders any chance of escaping the bro-zone hopeless.
As I said before, this definition is the rarest one, as it is proven that many men will fuck any woman, thus the reason for blogs of mine like "Who FUCKED THAT?!?" Please take the time to read my past blogs as they are chocked full of helpful info for both men and women.
Perhaps I am the lone wolf and I must enjoy being an asshole sometimes, because I am one of those rare breed of cat that actually enjoys starting up conversation in the men's room. I must admit I like to do this for a couple of different reasons, namely as follows:
1) I am perfectly sound in my sexuality as a hetero man and I don't even give a shit if a guy looks at my yang. I'm not homo, so it really doesn't affect me like that.
2) It is quite frankly funny how nervous other dudes get when someone is talking aloud in the bathroom. I find it hilarious when there is a dude taking a shit to walk out of the bathroom saying something like "Damn it smells like shit in here!" in a rather robust sort of voice. Once I even unrolled the toilet paper and wrote a message on it for the next user of the commode for #2 business. It read as follow: "dude, it smells like something crawled up your ass and died. You should really wipe better."
Oh but QM, that is so childish and crude.
Really? Come on! That was funny. Okay, maybe rude and a little too far, but I just feel the need to break through this icy cold tension of uncomfortability that is the male bro-zone. Fellas, lighten up! Seriously! NOT EVERY other dude out there is dead set on eyeballing your pud. Trust me, the gay dudes have their GAYDAR and YOU are NOT registered on their horizons, so don't flatter yourself.
Well that is about all I have to say about that. Have fun today and take good care of the mothers that take care of you.
Peace. Love. Respect.
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