Thank you, thank you let's jump right in. I am gonna try a different format today, so bear with me and keep up
Contestant 1 is an 18 year old video game playing geek from San Diego California. He has no job, lives at home with his parents, smokes a lot of cigarettes and pot, and lacks general overall ambition... welcome R.U. Kidding
Contestant 2 is a 35 year old wanna-be yuppie from New York City. She's a compulsive workaholic, dabbles in cocaine, drinks like a fish and is a $30,000 a year millionaire living way above her means... welcome Eileen Sideways
Contestant 3 is a 55 year old veteran from Portland Oregon. He has a beard like one of the guys from Z.Z. Top, is addicted to pain killers, his own children won't talk to him, he walks with a limp, and lives on a pension that is shameful in this day and age... welcome D. Cidedly Angry
This is going to be a special one-round game of Jeo"Parody", so contestants... Are you ready?
Todays categories are NOT going to be the ones listed above, but rather these NEW special categories:
CIGARETTE SMOKERS - WHAT'S WRONG WITH THIS COUNTRY? - "DEEP"RESSION (Each correct answer will include the word deep) - FOOD MATTERS - THE WORLD IS MY ASHTRAY
Contestant 1, you get to chose first.
Okay Quiet Mouse, I'll take "The World is MY Ashtray" for $100
-Who sings the lyrics "... Dre passed me the torch, I lit the chronic with it, now the world is my ashtray..."
Contestant 2: Who is Eminem? BUZZ!
Contestant 3: Who is 50 Cent? BUZZ!
Contestant 1: Who is The Game? Correct!
Yes, contestant 1 pick again
I'll take same category for $200
-Where is the appropriate place to put your used cigarette butts?
3: what is the floor? BUZZ!
2: What is the trash can? Correct!
Player 2 pick the category
I'll take "What is wrong with this country?" for $100
- Who is the WORST president in modern American History?
3: Who is Bill Clinton? BUZZ!
1: Who is Obama? BUZZ!
2: Who is George W. Bush? Correct!
2: Same category for $200
-What is the WORST way to get out of a recession and debt as a nation?
3: What is MORE spending? Correct
Player 3 pick the category
3: I'll take '"Deep"ression' for $500
-Who is the rapper who sings "Outta Control" with 50 cent?
2: Who is Eminem? BUZZ! -Remember contestant each answer will use the word "Deep"
1: Who is Mobb Deep? Correct!
Player 1 pick the category please
1: I'll try "Cigarette Smokers" for $100
- What is the name of the embalming fluid that is also found in cigarettes?
3: "..." BUZZ!
2: What is formaldehyde? Correct
Player 2 pick your category
2: Food Matters for $500
-What pesticide company is trying to kill you through the food you eat?
2: What is Monsanto? Correct
-pick again player 2
2: Same category for $400
- A food that is grown free of chemicals, pesticides or antibiotics is called what?
1: What is organic? Correct
-player 1, you chose
1: lets go back to cigarette smokers for $200
- How many carcinogens are found in cancer sticks?
(No one rings in)
-the answer is 43, player 1, pick again
1: same category for $300
-How long does it take nicotine to reach the brain once it has entered the blood stream?
2: what is 10 seconds? BUZZ!
3: What is 6 seconds? Correct!
Player 3 pick your category
3: let's try "Deep"ression for $100
- What is the state of the U.S. economy?
1: What is "Deep" SHIT? Correct!
Player 1, your turn to pick
1: Deep for $200
- If you are a "bitch nigga" your girlfriend probably does NOT do this.
3: What is deep tissue massage? BUZZ!
2: What is deep throat? Correct!
Player 2 pick again
2: Deep for $300
- An apocalyptic movie where Morgan Freeman plays the president.
1: What is Deep Impact? Correct!
Player 1, your turn
1: Lets do "What's wrong with this country?" for $300
beep beep beep beep
This question is the "Daily Dizzle"!!
-okay contestant 3 this question is worth $600... Will the U.S. ever allow same sex marriage?
1: ... hmm... What is "WHO GIVES A SHIT?"
- That is CORRECT!
Pick again contestant 1
1: Same category for $400 QM
-What are the TWO main functions of government?
3: What are defense and social services? BUZZ!
-Good guess player 3, but incorrect
2: What are education and taxes? BUZZ!
1: What are self preservation and control? Correct!
Go again player 1
1: Lets go back to "smokers" for $400
- How long does it take the average cigarette smoker to DIE?
3: What is too damn long? Correct!
Player 3, pick the category
3: Lets finish off smokers
-What is the MOST foreign concept to a cigarette smoker?
1: uhh... What is the filter? BUZZ!
2: What is an ashtray? Correct!
Player 2 chose a category
2: Let's finish off "what's wrong..." for $500
-What is the average adult debt in the U.S.?
1: What is $5000? BUZZ!
3: What is $8,000? Correct!
Player 3 you chose
3: I'll take Food Matters for $100
- How come fruit costs $5 and a cheeseburger only costs $1?
2: What is the government WANTS us to be fat? Correct
Player 2, chose again
2: I'll take "Ashtray" for $300
-What is the best way to cut down on garbage production?
2: What is eat less? BUZZ!
1: What is recycle? Correct
Pick a category Player 1
1: I'll take "Deep"ression for $400
- An adult wading in the kiddie pool may be this?
3: What is knee deep? Correct
Player 3 your turn
3: I'll take "The World is my Ashtray" for $400
-Is there actually someone that is "paid" to clean up after lazy, inconsiderate, littering Americans?
2: What is HELL NO, ALL of our tax money goes to paying for BULLSHIT wars? Correct!
Pick a category player 2
2: Food Matters for $200
- What is the secret ingredient in McDonald's french fries?
1: What is mono sodium glutamate? BUZZ! - good guess player 1
3: What is salt? BUZZ!
2: What is dehydrated beef fat? Correct!
Pick again player 2
2: Food Matters for $300 to finish the category
-What percentage of food in America is thrown away annually?
1: What is 30%? Correct!
and the last question of the round is...
- Whose job is it to clean up after a natural disaster in the U.S.? a) FEMA b) National Guard c) State and local agencies or d) None, the government doesn't care!
3: What is "None, the government doesn't care!" Correct!
Okay contestants, the standings are as such: Player 1 $1700 Player 2 $500 Player 3 $500
The FINAL category is: Sinking Ships. Place your wager now contestants.
- What can Americans do in the face of the impending disaster of the country collapsing?
Let's start with player 3 who bet $500: What is go green?
Sorry player 3, but it is just too late for that to be a viable option...
Player 2 bet $500: What is "ignore the problem and hope it goes away?
Sorry player 2, but Americans have been doing that for way TOO LONG already, it's called a "normalcy bias"... look it up
Player 1 bet $420 of his $1700: What is help this bitch sink?
DING DING DING DING DING!!! That is the correct answer player 1...
Okay, so seriously, life in this country is NOT a game show and I am NOT the host. My over-all point is that my biggest pet peeve is smokers that throw away their cigarette butts and use the once-beautiful Earth as their own personal ash tray. These people are BUTT HEADS and should be arrested and heavily fined... oh yeah that's if the cops weren't too busy busting up peaceful taxpaying cannabis users. I adamantly HATE people that chose to be lazy and throw their garbage on the ground rather than taking the few moments to place their refuse in the appropriate container, and that INCLUDES the recycling bin!! There is NO mystery person that is paid to clean up YOUR mess. Yo momma don't work here, so you have to clean up your OWN MESS!! Got it???
Hmm.... I can hear the rumbling, so let's clarify what is LITTERING
If you accidentally drop a few french fries or an apple core on the ground, that is one thing because the birds or ants will get most of it and feed on it. If you are just lazy and throw your trash in the back of the pick-up truck for it to blow out onto the streets, THAT is littering. If you leave your soda bottles, cigarette butts, plastic bags, stinking ass dirty used up diapers (nasty ass motherfuckers!!), or your furniture on the side of the street, then YOU are FUCKING UP MY PLANET ASSHOLE!!!
WHERE THE FUCK DO YOU INCONSIDERATE PANTY WASTE MOTHERFUCKERS THINK WE ARE GONNA LIVE WHEN THE WORLD IS ONE BIG LANDFILL and TOXIC CESSPOOL???
YES, I AM ANGRY!! I am sooooooooooooooo sick and tired of walking or driving down the street and seeing our streets and city parks looking like ass. ONE of the BIGGEST reasons that this country is going to SHIT is because the citizens of this once great nation don't FUCKING CARE! Americans are too damned wasteful of EVERYTHING! What happened to the PRIDE of keeping nature beautiful? What happened to people wanting SAFE drinkable water and forests, towns, cities, countrysides, etc. to be magnificent as HE above created them. We do NOT have to live like LOCUSTS or PARASITES destroying ALL we come into contact with. We have the ability to DESTROY, yes... BUT... we ALSO have the ability to CREATE! My sincere hope is that SOMEONE in this country or the world will be able to look PAST the greed created by this VIRUS KNOWN AS CAPITALISM and actually use his/her given talents to USE what is ALREADY here, recycling and re-using past creations to make something BETTER and more SUSTAINABLE for ALL mankind, WITHOUT PROFIT being the ONLY motivation. This has been the Quiet Mouse once again. WAKE UP from the Matrix and snap out of your wasteful, meaningless, consumer-driven lives!!
Peace. Love. Respect. Recycle. Re-use. Reflect. THINK! Move forward.
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