Thanks for joining me today. This is the Quiet Mouse Strikes Back, a blog where I attempt to inform and often poke fun at life, piece by piece. So smile, sit back, relax and buckle up.
I realize that many of you, like me, have experienced a variety of aromas, some good and some bad. Right now I am going to talk about some of the bad smells, but throw in a funny story. Any time you are living with many people, especially children, the aroma of some funked up smells will eventually waft into your nostrils for supreme olfactory nausea. There are 3 to 4 main places of funked up aroma in the house:
1) Bathroom. Between kids and adults equally, the monster trucker sized #2's, clogged toilets, diarrhea, and vomiting, the bathroom is notorious for its odoriferous emanations.
2) Kids bedroom. I don't know exactly what it is that makes kids okay with living in their own filth. I generally don't care too much about how the room looks, but I DO care about their being clean clothes hung up, not on the floor with dirty ones, candy wrappers, soda bottles, and a general air of funk about the place. This is NOT acceptable!
3) Kitchen. Not everyone is equally bad about this, I'll admit now, BUT... there are a LOT of people who allow their kitchen to be sources of supreme funk. The easiest place to find festering germs and odor is the sink full of unclean dishes and right next to it, the garbage disposer that is clogged with food debris because the person didn't even bother to wipe off their plate before putting it into the sink. Yum. Then of course there is the waste basket and possible recycling buckets that reek from food waste and/or sticky syrupy beverages stuck to the bottom of the bucket... nice ripe feeding ground for bacteria, I'd say.
4) Cat box. Of course you know. Everyone knows how bad an unkempt box can reek. The amonia smell of cat piss is pretty bad, and I've been a lifelong cat owner. Cats pretty much just eat, drink, piss, shit, play, and clean themselves. They're pretty low maintenance in some ways, but the box MUST be kept clean daily, and sometimes more than once daily if you have multiple pets.
Now, the funny story...
My girlfriend and I have a joke that when we first started going out, you might think she was a ninja or a Navy SEAL with her covert shit operations. It is a pretty well known fact that the majority of women sneak their bowl movements around like the French Underground. I'm sure anyone that has been in a relationship can attest to the fact that people get accustomed to one another and settle into routines and whatnot. We all get used to the idea that... hey guess what? EVERYONE SHITS! Despite how hard we try to hide it, eventually it just has to come out, even if at an awkward moment. The joke basically goes that for months and months, I told my girlfriend that I thought she had vanilla scented shit because that's what the bathroom smelled like after she was finished with business.
Okay, maybe that's one of those you'd had to have been there sort of moments, but I assure you I'm laughing at the recollection of it.
What? You didn't think it was funny? Well shit, that was kinda the hook. Guess you'll just have to tune back again next time for more excitement... or you could read my past blogs... or check your Facebook... or play a game online... watch Netflix...
Well, go on. Have fun.
I realize that many of you, like me, have experienced a variety of aromas, some good and some bad. Right now I am going to talk about some of the bad smells, but throw in a funny story. Any time you are living with many people, especially children, the aroma of some funked up smells will eventually waft into your nostrils for supreme olfactory nausea. There are 3 to 4 main places of funked up aroma in the house:
1) Bathroom. Between kids and adults equally, the monster trucker sized #2's, clogged toilets, diarrhea, and vomiting, the bathroom is notorious for its odoriferous emanations.
2) Kids bedroom. I don't know exactly what it is that makes kids okay with living in their own filth. I generally don't care too much about how the room looks, but I DO care about their being clean clothes hung up, not on the floor with dirty ones, candy wrappers, soda bottles, and a general air of funk about the place. This is NOT acceptable!
3) Kitchen. Not everyone is equally bad about this, I'll admit now, BUT... there are a LOT of people who allow their kitchen to be sources of supreme funk. The easiest place to find festering germs and odor is the sink full of unclean dishes and right next to it, the garbage disposer that is clogged with food debris because the person didn't even bother to wipe off their plate before putting it into the sink. Yum. Then of course there is the waste basket and possible recycling buckets that reek from food waste and/or sticky syrupy beverages stuck to the bottom of the bucket... nice ripe feeding ground for bacteria, I'd say.
4) Cat box. Of course you know. Everyone knows how bad an unkempt box can reek. The amonia smell of cat piss is pretty bad, and I've been a lifelong cat owner. Cats pretty much just eat, drink, piss, shit, play, and clean themselves. They're pretty low maintenance in some ways, but the box MUST be kept clean daily, and sometimes more than once daily if you have multiple pets.
Now, the funny story...
My girlfriend and I have a joke that when we first started going out, you might think she was a ninja or a Navy SEAL with her covert shit operations. It is a pretty well known fact that the majority of women sneak their bowl movements around like the French Underground. I'm sure anyone that has been in a relationship can attest to the fact that people get accustomed to one another and settle into routines and whatnot. We all get used to the idea that... hey guess what? EVERYONE SHITS! Despite how hard we try to hide it, eventually it just has to come out, even if at an awkward moment. The joke basically goes that for months and months, I told my girlfriend that I thought she had vanilla scented shit because that's what the bathroom smelled like after she was finished with business.
Okay, maybe that's one of those you'd had to have been there sort of moments, but I assure you I'm laughing at the recollection of it.
What? You didn't think it was funny? Well shit, that was kinda the hook. Guess you'll just have to tune back again next time for more excitement... or you could read my past blogs... or check your Facebook... or play a game online... watch Netflix...
Well, go on. Have fun.
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