Validation

Namaste and welcome to another posting for the Quiet Mouse Strikes Back. After many years of life and watching and interacting with my fellow humans I have come to a simple and yet profound conclusion about human behavior. It's difficult to be accurate as to what percent it really is, but I'm convinced that at least, if not more than, half of all human interaction is the search for VALIDATION of our own internal beliefs.

Merriam-Webster dictionary defines the word "validate" as: "to support or corroborate on a sound or authoritative basis; to recognize, establish, or illustrate the worthiness or legitimacy of"

Now you may be wondering about my point here. I have written in many of my blogs about self esteem and personal empowerment. I think our own personal insecurities ring out like a bell during our personal interactions with others through our words, our actions, and our non-verbal body language cues. From these I have determined that better than half the time when others talk they are only doing so to seek the validation of their own opinions and belief system through others, be it a spouse, children, coworkers, family, etc. It is one of our intrinsic human traits to want to be heard, listened to, and believed in what we say... we all know this on an unconscious level, even if we are not consciously aware at the time (especially when we are distracted by other emotions like anger and frustration). So basically I'm saying that when people ask for YOUR opinion, they DON'T really want your opinion... I'm saying that they really only want YOU to validate and support their opinion that he/she already formed (even if that opinion hasn't even yet been said out loud and is still in the speaker's head... trust me, it's already been formed and thought out).
This is the reason for MANY of the fights between people. They ask for someone's opinion and get upset when they receive that other person's general worldview. It's not your OWN worldview and I can truly see how this can lead to hard feelings and resentment toward others.

My last point I'm going to add is that I think validation has to do with value, well at least what we feel as self-value or self-worth. I think that many people seek out that external validation for their own thoughts and behaviors because they have little self-esteem to boost their own ego, which is what validation is for: an ego boost. I'm here to tell you NOW, if you are reading this, that YOU HAVE VALUE. YOU HAVE PURPOSE. YOUR LIFE HAS MEANING!!! You just have to believe in yourself and your abilities. Namaste.

BRO-MANCE and BROMO-SEXUALITY

Namaste and welcome avid knowledge seekers. Today I want to talk about bromance. First you must read my blogs to understand that I am NOT homophobic, but actually am a hetero man in favor of homosexual rights. Moving on, I just wanted to quickly digress and discuss the growing trend of bromosexuality in the movies.
Bromosexuality is defined by the Urban dictionary (a source I like to cite often) as: "when guys are really good friends, and they make jokes/talk about each other in ways that are almost homosexual, but not quite."

I am PRO people being true to themselves and coming out of the closet. I hope it doesn't offend anyone, but I just want people to treat others with, not special treatment, but respect, and that includes to yourself. Hollywood has taken advantage of the coming out of the homosexual community and gotten caught up in the bromanticism of it all. I will cite for my opinions the actors and the various movies they star in as follows. James Franco, Seth Rogen, and Danny McBride in particular. YES, they have made some funny films, but I think that they are aiding in the androgyny and confusion of young boys/men today. Straight men do NOT wake up and say lines like "I'm gonna suck today's dick!" or tickle another straight man's penis.
Further examples are boys/men that shave their arms, legs, chest, etc. for no quite understandable reason. Some guys wear makeup and wear skinny jeans or like dressing up in women's clothing. These are generally things done by homosexual men and I find it odd that more people just don't come out of the closet. It's okay to like feminine things as a male, but as I said, it is more important to be true to who you are INSIDE. I've been through school and even in the military there was a big anti-gay vibe going on and I think it is tragic that men AND women have to hide and deny who they are because of negatively biased social standards. If you want people to accept you for who you are, then you must first be true to yourself. I think these guys in these silly movies are bisexual, meaning they like men and women. My only contention is that they are playing hetero roles and confusing hetero boys as to how they are supposed to act. Being a fake homosexual is an insult to those who have that genuine fear of ridicule from coming out of the closet. Whether it is from social stereotypes, judgement, conservative families, etc... there is a real fear for people to be true to who they are inside. Even when we are dating and trying to find a partner, sometimes it is difficult to meet someone with the same perversions or sexual orientation as you. A lot of men think that because they like anal play that means they are homosexual. Whether you are gay or straight really depends on whom you would like to perform sexual acts with. If you want to perform them, or conversely have them performed on you by the SAME gender, then you are homosexual. You can do the same exact thing with the opposite gender and it is hetero. Perhaps it is difficult for men to accept their own sexuality, especially if they are aroused by the same gender. It could indeed cause confusion and negative self thought, depending on socio-economic upbringing and religion.
The most important part of any relationship, be it lovers or just BROMANTIC friends is TRUST, which starts with HONESTY and INTEGRITY. Be true to who you are inside and the right people will want to be around you