Namaste and welcome to another posting for the Quiet Mouse Strikes Back. After many years of life and watching and interacting with my fellow humans I have come to a simple and yet profound conclusion about human behavior. It's difficult to be accurate as to what percent it really is, but I'm convinced that at least, if not more than, half of all human interaction is the search for VALIDATION of our own internal beliefs.
Merriam-Webster dictionary defines the word "validate" as: "to support or corroborate on a sound or authoritative basis; to recognize, establish, or illustrate the worthiness or legitimacy of"
Now you may be wondering about my point here. I have written in many of my blogs about self esteem and personal empowerment. I think our own personal insecurities ring out like a bell during our personal interactions with others through our words, our actions, and our non-verbal body language cues. From these I have determined that better than half the time when others talk they are only doing so to seek the validation of their own opinions and belief system through others, be it a spouse, children, coworkers, family, etc. It is one of our intrinsic human traits to want to be heard, listened to, and believed in what we say... we all know this on an unconscious level, even if we are not consciously aware at the time (especially when we are distracted by other emotions like anger and frustration). So basically I'm saying that when people ask for YOUR opinion, they DON'T really want your opinion... I'm saying that they really only want YOU to validate and support their opinion that he/she already formed (even if that opinion hasn't even yet been said out loud and is still in the speaker's head... trust me, it's already been formed and thought out).
This is the reason for MANY of the fights between people. They ask for someone's opinion and get upset when they receive that other person's general worldview. It's not your OWN worldview and I can truly see how this can lead to hard feelings and resentment toward others.
My last point I'm going to add is that I think validation has to do with value, well at least what we feel as self-value or self-worth. I think that many people seek out that external validation for their own thoughts and behaviors because they have little self-esteem to boost their own ego, which is what validation is for: an ego boost. I'm here to tell you NOW, if you are reading this, that YOU HAVE VALUE. YOU HAVE PURPOSE. YOUR LIFE HAS MEANING!!! You just have to believe in yourself and your abilities. Namaste.
Merriam-Webster dictionary defines the word "validate" as: "to support or corroborate on a sound or authoritative basis; to recognize, establish, or illustrate the worthiness or legitimacy of"
Now you may be wondering about my point here. I have written in many of my blogs about self esteem and personal empowerment. I think our own personal insecurities ring out like a bell during our personal interactions with others through our words, our actions, and our non-verbal body language cues. From these I have determined that better than half the time when others talk they are only doing so to seek the validation of their own opinions and belief system through others, be it a spouse, children, coworkers, family, etc. It is one of our intrinsic human traits to want to be heard, listened to, and believed in what we say... we all know this on an unconscious level, even if we are not consciously aware at the time (especially when we are distracted by other emotions like anger and frustration). So basically I'm saying that when people ask for YOUR opinion, they DON'T really want your opinion... I'm saying that they really only want YOU to validate and support their opinion that he/she already formed (even if that opinion hasn't even yet been said out loud and is still in the speaker's head... trust me, it's already been formed and thought out).
This is the reason for MANY of the fights between people. They ask for someone's opinion and get upset when they receive that other person's general worldview. It's not your OWN worldview and I can truly see how this can lead to hard feelings and resentment toward others.
My last point I'm going to add is that I think validation has to do with value, well at least what we feel as self-value or self-worth. I think that many people seek out that external validation for their own thoughts and behaviors because they have little self-esteem to boost their own ego, which is what validation is for: an ego boost. I'm here to tell you NOW, if you are reading this, that YOU HAVE VALUE. YOU HAVE PURPOSE. YOUR LIFE HAS MEANING!!! You just have to believe in yourself and your abilities. Namaste.
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